A Positive.

This morning I woke up in the middle of the night really early.  Like 3:30am early.  I was WIDE awake.  My first thought is, I hope it is at least 5am.  But, gosh darn it it was only 3 twenty something...!  And this wasn't the first night.  I woke up in the middle of the night at least 4 times in the past few weeks.  Very odd.

So back to this morning.  I had made a deal with myself (one of those official-but-changed-your-mind-a-million-times-already-in-your-head deals) that I would not pee on a stick until Tuesday. But, I woke up early and with an urgency I decided to just go ahead and do it.  So I did.  And then I carried that pee stick to my nightstand and tried to fall back asleep. Well, imagine my surprise when my iphone screen showed enough light to read "Pregnant" (while squinting with only one eye open).  Holy cow.  I then had to get back up and walk to the bathroom to read it again with enough light to ensure I wasn't just seeing things.  Sure enough, it still said "Pregnant".   So, what do I do now?  Well of course, pee on another stick!  So that is what I did.  Except this time there was not the same urgency if you know what I mean.  Long story short, this test did not work because of lack-of-data.  And then I was out of sticks.

I climbed back into bed and tried desperately to fall back asleep.  But I couldn't.  So at 5:05am, I officially got out of bed (tired eyed but wide awake) and decided to take Milo for a walk.  It was just me. My dog.  And the paper guy that drives a white station wagon.  The rest of the neighborhood was still asleep.  It was a full moon too (or at least looked like one- I think technically the full moon is tomorrow night).  Anyway, it was a peaceful walk.  It was just what I needed: fresh air.

I then came home and told the boyfriend.  (A very sleepy boyfriend, mind you).  And he said, "Really?" And I said, "Yes, really but don't get your hopes up.  I already googled false positive and it said that is not likely but you can get a chemical pregnancy, early miscarriage, ect."  I pretty much rambled off anything that could go wrong.  Because that is how I roll.  I prepare for the worst.  I hope for the best, every time!  But, you always have to prepare for the worst.  And he said, "Ok."  Because that is what he does.  He says just enough for me to know how much he cares and understands.  Ok is all I needed to hear.

Looking back on the last week, I haven't felt much different at all.  There are only two "symptoms" that I noticed.  #1.  Very hungry.  Like I want to eat the refrigerator, hungry.  This is not surprising as I always feel this away about a week before my period.  #2.  Chills.  This is the only thing that was odd (other than the waking in the middle of the night).  Several times throughout the day I'll get a "chill" through my body.  Most the time I blame it on how freezing cold we keep our house because we are cheap.  But even throughout my work day I would get a chill.  It kinda feels like the chills you get when your getting sick with the flu or something.

So, I am pleasantly surprised with today but guarded.  Excited for the future and have said many of prayers throughout the day.

New deal with myself:  no peeing on pee stick again until Wednesday morning.

Just a Tuesday night

I just thought I would jot down a few of my thoughts.  Today was a long day at work.  One of those it-feels-like-its-Friday-but-its-only-Tuesday days.

The "no spend lenten challenge" has continued to be a challenge, but I have found empowerment through my self discipline so far.  It is in the little things like not buying that hot chocolate on my way home from the grocery store.  Or, tomorrow I am driving to Watertown for work and there is a fabulous outlet mall on my way.  I love to stop there and browse the stores... banana republic, loft, nike, ect... but tomorrow I will not stop!  Would I like a new workout outfit?  Absolutely.  Do I need a new outfit?  No.  I found myself even being more disciplined in the grocery store tonight.  I tried to stick to my grocery list.  Although, I did buy a few things off my list (cough) roasted red pepper hummus and pita chips!  Both are not organic and are processed and the chips even have white flour! Oh my.

AND I have to admit to eating my weight entirely way too much chocolate/dessert lately!  I have totally fallen off that bandwagon.  Man, Valentines day has really done a number on my sugar intake.  I will get that in check starting tomorrow! :)

But, overall my diet has been pretty good.  I still believe in the 80-20 rule.  80% all good for you and 20% whatever you want!

What I ate today:

Breakfast:  1 slice sprouted grain bread- 1 or 2 tbl avocado- 1 egg fried in coconut oil
Snack:  Handful of raw almonds with a few M&M's (dangit candy!)
Lunch:  Tuna made with avocado, cucumbers, green apple and a few crackers
Dinner:  Baked Chicken, Baked Sweet Potato, Spinach salad (cucumbers, green apple, carrots, no dressing)
Dessert:  A chocolate or two :)

I have been taking my new prenatal vitamin, Fertilaid for about a week.  It has dramatically increased my progesterone (at least I think so).  I am excited to see what next cycle brings.  I will definitely use an ovulation kit next cycle as I completely missed ovulation this time (did not have any EWCM what-so-ever).  Overall, feel pretty good.  A few headaches the last few days but I'm attributing that to the mega sugar overload.

Acupuncture Round 3

Yesterday was my third visit with my acupuncturist.  I'm just going to throw this out there... I was disappointed.  I had really high hopes going into the appointment because I had my test results back and was excited to hear her interpretation and intervention.

At the appointment she did her normal collection of data and placed the needles and electrical current, but did not go over any herbs or recommend anything.  I have to admit that I felt a little lost and without direction.

After talking with the nurse at my OBGYN last week, I was surprised at how fast they were willing to prescribe medications.  Don't get me wrong, I would love to get pregnant... like yesterday!  But, I realize that my body has (and has had for a long time, maybe forever?) issues with hormones and fertility.  I am hesitant to pump more medications/hormones into a body that is not working properly all together.

After much thought, and discussion with Jeret we have decided to take a little break from interventions. This may be only 2 weeks or however long we see fit and feels comfortable.  I'd like to try to continue to heal by body with the right foods (eliminating caffine/alcohol, limiting sugar/dairy/white flour) and exercise regularly for stress reduction.  I am going to try a supplement that is OTC and recommended by many people for balancing hormones and see where this takes us.  I am also going to continue the seed rotation diet.  In a few months, if nothing has changed with my BBT charting, CM, ect then I will probably have more tests done at the doctors office.  Just to check to make sure that there is nothing blocking my tubes.

So, that is where I stand.  I picked up a few books at the library for some weekend reading:  "The Infertility Cure" and "Making Babies".  They both talk about the right balance of homeopathic and western medicine.

Test Results

Yesterday I received a phone call from the nurse at the OBGYN office.  My test results were finally in! I had been checking my online "chart" at least three times a day daily to see if they were updated.  The Thyroid and Prolactin scores were in within a few days because they were done in town.  But the Testosterone, DHE A- Serum and Progesterone were sent to Mayo clinic in Rochester to be read.

DHEA- Is the principal human c-19 steroid.  It has to do with androgens and estrogens in our body.  Adrenal gland function? Acceptable range: less than 13.  My score:  8.8

17-Hydroxyprogesterone- Checks for CAH- congenital adrenal hyperplasia.  Acceptable range: less than 80.  My score:  Less than 40.

Testosterone:  Checking for PCOS.  Acceptable range: 6-80.  My score:  24.

Prolactin:  Pituitary gland function.  Acceptable range:  3-23.  My score: 12.5

TSH Sensitive:  Thyroid function.  Acceptable range:  .5 - 6.  My score: .98

I'm not sure what to think about the scores.  If they had found something, at least I would have a reason for my irregularity.  Trying to not worry about it.  I would like to see how long this cycle lasts by charting my BBT.  This will also help me to find out if I am ovulating.  Today is only day 16, so I would like to give it at least 35 days to see if I ovulate.  If not, then we will probably try a dose of Clomid.  I am interested to find out what my Acupuncturist thinks of the scores and Clomid.

Indulging in some M & M's.  Shame on me!  You can even see Milo in action with his ball on the right hand side of the photo.  

Acupuncture Round 2

Today was my second appointment with the acupuncturist.  She was pleased to hear that I had had some blood work done.  I was sorry that the results were not in yet, but they should be ready for next week!

She went over my basal body temperature chart and talked about a few other things: cervical mucous, ect.

This time she applied the needles in different spots.  She also applied an electrical current to the needles in my stomach to help activate the ovaries.  That was an interesting sensation.  You feel little "pricks" of electricity.  But about half way through the treatment I couldn't feel them any longer.

I felt much more relaxed at this appointment.  I really tried to meditate and focus on body healing and balance.

P.S.  After the treatment my mom called, so I was filling her in on my experience.  When I told her about the electrical current she said that my little eggs were jumping around doing summersaults!  What a great thought!

Doctor Appointment

Today was my "Western Medicine" doctor appointment.  I was so excited that I hit it off great with the OBGYN.  All I did was look up the physicians that were under my insurance online and called to see whoever had the first available appointment.  She was wonderful.  Very attentive to my concerns and wishes.

Best part about the appointment was that my acupuncturist had warned me not to mention the acupuncture at the appointment when I requested to have some tests done.  She said that some Western doctors may not agree with the treatment, ect.  Turns out I did not even need to mention acupuncture or the tests.  1st my doctor explained that she wanted to do the tests ASAP because of my past history AND 2nd she even mentioned that some of her past patient's have had great luck with acupuncture!  Score!

Today's appointment consisted of: Flu Shot, basic check up, and blood work.  I remember she mentioned:  Testosterone, Prolactin, Thyroid and maybe a few others.  The blood work will be sent to Minnesota (Mayo Clinic) and then I will have a conference to go over the results.

She mentioned starting Clomid as needed.  This gives me mixed emotions.  I hate to pump my body with more medications/hormones when everything is already out of balance.  She did mention that women on Clomid are more often to conceive twins!  Now that is a fun idea!

Acupuncture/Tests/Seed Rotation Diet

Today was my first acupuncture visit.  It was a learning experience.  It was really nice to see the provider concerned with my overall health.  Many times when I told other healthcare providers about my "irregularity" they just said it is normal for me.  I never thought that maybe there was some sort of hormonal imbalance causing the irregularity.

SOURCE

She encouraged a lot of the same things that I have read about.  Low sugar, dairy and grains in diet.  No caffeine.  No alcohol.  Exercise regularly.  She added a basal cell temperature each morning and a new prenatal vitamin.  This prenatal is serious stuff! Three capsules twice a day!  Took my first dose this morning with breakfast and surprisingly did not feel nauseous.  She said the biggest difference between the OTC prenatal that I was taking and these pills is that this has a natural source of folic acid whereas the OTC has a synthetic.  Which has been linked to cancer.

She also encouraged that I see an OBGYN for some hormonal tests.  The tests include:  LH: FSH ratio- Luteinizing Hormone and Folicle Stimulating Hormone.  Testosterone.  Estradiol (to make sure my ovaries are working correctly). PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) testing including prolactin.  I have an appointment next week for a check up and hopefully the MD will order these tests.

Lastly, she recommended a seed rotation diet.  The seeds selected contain essential fatty acids that promote a healthy balance of estrogen and progesterone and help to regulate your menstrual cycle.  They help to normalize irregular menstrual cycles and support adrenal and thyroid health.

Day 1-14: one tablespoon of 50/50 ground flax seed/pumpkin seeds

Day 15-28:  one tablespoon of 50/50 mix ground sesame/sunflower seeds

SOURCE

Looking forward to the outcome!  

Today.

Starting off today with some private hopefully no one ever reads this blog information!  I started my menstruation today.  Phew, had to get that off my chest.  Feeling blessed and more "normal".  We had a great time this weekend at my mother in laws.  She shared the sweetest photo of my nephew Bodhi with me. 

Bodhi has the sweetest mama, Cara.  She is truly a role model to me on how to be pregnant, look great, and stay healthy.  She did such a phenomenal job watching what she ate and eating only the healthiest for her baby.  All her hard work and determination paid off.  Bodhi is a beautiful and healthy young boy.

Acupuncture.

Have you ever tried it?  I have been doing a lot of research lately about regulating hormones and the importance of regular menstrual cycles.  I am not interested in any western medicine interventions just yet, after all they probably would send me right out the door anyway considering we have been only trying for about 4 weeks. 

 I am so excited to try alternative medicine.  I am throughly convinced that our body can be healed of many ailments through proper nutrition and relaxation.   I am not concerned about the lack of pregnancy yet, but more concerned about the lack of menstruation.  Without that menstruation my body is unable to ovulate or therefore become pregnant.  

Am I obsessing? Probably.

I have been trying to be very mindful and make some lifestyle changes to help my body become more in balance and healthy already.

1.  Exercising regularly.  I am running 3 - 4 miles 3 or 4 times a week.  (Started October 2012)

2.  Eliminated caffeine.  Gave up coffee and diet soda.  (Late December 2012)

3.  Incorporating more vegetables into my diet. (in progress)

4.  Limiting flour, wheat and sugar. (in progress)

Goals I am working on implementing to improve health and balance:

1.  Start acupuncture with a female health specialist.

2.  Start taking yoga classes.

3.  Eliminate processed foods!! This sounds so intimidating to me but will be well worth the effort.

I have my first session with Amy a week from Friday!  I am so looking forward to it!

*Update:  Tried to go for a run today with new running shoes and the knee is still acting up :(

Worrier

I am a worrier.  I worry about my worries.  It is the way I have always been.  I worry about myself, my troubles, my issues.   I worry about my family and friend's issues.  I even worry about strangers!  It is what I do.

I realize it is not healthy to worry all the time.  It makes me feel restless and anxious.

I try to let things go.  To understand that some things are not in my control, and therefor the worrying is useless and exhausting.

Some of my worries today:
 -  my fertility.  Do I have PCOS?  Will I have issues conceiving?  Did I make the wrong choice by starting to take oral birth control?  Did I choose the wrong pill?
- work hazards.  Is the chemical sterilization at work causing harm to myself?  Will it impact my ability to get pregnant?  Will it impact my baby prenatally?
- my little sister.  How is she feeling today?  Is today a good day for her?  Are the people present in her life making her smile?
- finances.  Are we house poor?  Probably so.  Do we love our house?  Absolutely.  I worry if one of us may loose our job.  How will having a child impact our finances?
- my marriage.  Am I good wife?  More importantly, is my husband happy?  Does he find happiness in his job?

With all that being said, I want to try to find the good in these topics.  I want to focus on what we have and not what could be.

- my fertility.  I have barely given it a shot.  We are only 3 measly weeks in.  Lots of time.  And thankfully we are young, healthy and have a bright future.
- work hazards.  I'm on this one.  I have contacted the EPA and am going to find all of the information that I can find on the risks of the chemicals we use.
- theresa girl.  She is beautiful and doing SO much better.  I will continue to pray for her and do my best to empower her to grow more confident.
- finances.  We are so lucky to have been able to pay off all of our debt (besides the mortgage).  My student loan will be paid off in 4 months! Wa hoo!  Even after dedicating a lot to pay off any debt, we have been able to save money for our wedding, a down payment on our house, and into a savings.  We also are able to allocate money to our Roth IRA and 457.  If life throws a curve ball, we can always downsize.
- my marriage.  Jeret if your reading this... let me know if I need to step it up! ;)

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2013 Goals

1.  Dedicate time and energy to the relationships in my life.  People receive the most happiness from their relationships rather than finances or hobbies.
2.  Join a local church.
3.  Start a family!
4.  Amp up our retirement plan and savings.
5.  Stick to a cash budget envelope system.
6.  Pay off student loan and start to pay on Principal of house.
7.  Focus on eating clean... less sugar / more vegetables... less soda / more water
8.  Continue to run outside.  Is makes my body and mind feel good and energized.
9.  Work hard to continue my education and be the best employee and hygienist I can be.

Babies.

We took away the goalie.  We are actively "trying" for a baby.  This is major craziness.  Our life is going to change big time!  I couldn't be more excited.  My husband would have been happy to have a baby yesterday, but now I am finally ready!   He is one of those men that are full of love and patience.  He will be the best dad anyone could ask for.  He is a great husband.  We are truly partners in life.  And we are so excited for this new adventure!  Let the baby making begin!